Romantically Apocalyptic S01

Characters: Narrator (Voice), Captain, Sniper, Engineer, Pilot
Locations: City street, Subway gate with dusty Baseball, Apartment Living-Room with Table, Risk Set and Deceased Rodent

**********************************


The opening image depicts a city square fallen into decay and ruin, ravaged by the tides of nuclear war. In the midst of the city square, a man stands with his back to the camera, draped in a grey trench coat and an officer's cap on his skull. As the narrator speaks, the camera slowly zooms in on the back of his head.

Narrator: In the midst of a ruined city, forgotten by time, stands a lone figure. His real name is known to none but him, and even he may not remember it... To the men under his command, he is known simply as 'The Captain'.

The Captain turns, revealing the custom designed respirator and goggles on his face, and looks just above and behind the camera.

Captain: How many times must I tell you, stop narrating my life!

Narrator: Slightly unhinged, the rare outsiders who catch a glimpse of the Captain and his team often wonder what caused his declining mental state. As the narrators words are uttered, the Captain waves his hand dismissively and starts to wander off. The camera shifts to best observe the Captain as he wanders across the town-square.

Narrator: Was it the radiation from the fallout? Was it the solitude and lack of need for social etiquette? Whatever the reason, something in the barren city wastes clearly drove him mad...

The Captain looks up at the sky as he walks along and replies loudly:

Captain: I'll tell you what it was, it's your incessant nattering - cease your verbiage!

As the Captain approaches a sub-way terminal, the camera switches to a front-on view and slowly pans down to ground level to show a dusty old baseball laying on the concrete.

Narrator: One of the consequences of the Captain's frame of mind... The Captain stops in front of the ball and stoops down to pick it up... is his seemingly endless confidence, and utter refusal to accept when something is clearly a bad idea.

Captain: Clearly you've no idea about how to detect danger.

The Captain hurls the ball down the flight of steps into the pitch-black subway tunnel. There is a wet 'crunch', a deafening ROAR, and a moment later the ball flies back out of the tunnel covered in saliva, straight back into the Captain's waiting hand.

Captain: There. As you can see, the ball is entirely unharmed - it is safe to descend.

Narrator: As I said before however, the Captain is not entirely alone in this world.

As the Captain raises his foot to wander down into the subway, a voice calls out from behind him.

Engineer: Captain! Hey, Captain!

The Captain performs an about-face and watches as the panting Engineer runs over to him, stopping a couple of feet away to keel over and catch his breath.

Captain: I'm rather busy here, can't it wait?

Narrator: With no active power-stations for hundreds of miles, and the majority of the population reduced to bones and ash, the Captain and his men find their own ways to pass the time.

Captain: The Captain looks up vaguelyOh give it a rest will you.

Engineer: The Engineer looks slightly confused I didn't say anything sir.

Captain: Not you, HIM over there.

Engineer: The Engineer looks around slightly bemused Where, sir?

Captain: The Captain gestures vigorously at the camera Right THERE! Look at him, the smug little snot. Hovering around, watching my every move and JUDGING me...

Engineer: Um... right. He clears throat quickly Well, we found something we thought might interest you...

Captain: The Camera shows his masked face as he leans forward towards the Engineer What is it? A bomb?

Engineer: The Camera shifts back to his faceNo,

As the two converse, the Camera gets progressively closer to each of their faces with every transition till only their goggles are visible

Captain: A tank?

Engineer: No,

Captain: A plasma powered horse?

Engineer: No

Captain: Then what?!

The camera suddenly pans back, the Captain gasping in shock as it does so - revealing he is now standing in a run-down living room with the Engineer, Sniper and Pilot. Before them is a table, on which is a mouldy looking board-game box.

Captain: AH! A relic of military history! All the greatest Captains used this very device to plan out how they would best conquer the world and dominate all nations! His gloved hands seize the shoulders of the men beside him in excitement as he stares at the box This men, is the very genesis of war...

The Camera cuts to a shot of the front of the game-box. It is an age-old 'Risk' set, covered in rodent gnawing marks.

Sniper: How does it work?

Captain: Very simple, I shall show you!

The Captain removes the lid, and the Camera pans back to show the upper portions of the four men as they peer down at the unseen contents.

Pilot: What are those?

Captain: These... He holds up several of the 'continent' cards were used by military soothsayers to decide where they should send or, 'deploy' their troops.

Eng/Pil/Snip: Ooooh...

Engineer: What about those?

Captain: They... He picks up a cavalry horse and a foot-soldier model represented the advancements in morality and anti-discrimination of the military... The equestrians represented the army's decision to allow the vertically challenged into the armed forces... He indicates the smaller scale of the cavalier to the infantryman

Eng/Pil/Snip: Ahhhh....

Sniper: What about that? What role did that play in military strategy?

Captain: That? None... this is in fact a deceased rodent that no doubt used this box for shelter. He casually tosses the carcass over his shoulder. And now, let us practise first hand the marvels of modern military and war faring strategy.

The Camera slowly begins to zoom out as the men take their seats and the Captain begins to hand their cards around.

Narrator: And what does the future hold for the Captain and his men? The Captain looks up at the Camera and holds his palms up in an exasperated manner Will they continue to toil their lives away till their deaths? As the camera continues to zoom out, the Captain leans down behind himself and picks up the dead rodent Or will - He hurls the dead creature at the Camera and knocks it over onto the ground with a shattering noise. Cut to Black.

"End"